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Toaster O'Shanter
In New Alloway City Cathedral... XANDRED: This place is a mess. KOMPLEX: All it needs is a clean-up. MEGATRON: The holy pool! We could drown in the holy pool! QUEEN BERYL: Let's turn this place upside-down! RITA REPULSA: Yes, let's do this! JAFAR: It will take time... LORD PUMPKIN: And let the hunt for the stars begin... Later... MEGATRON: Hahahahahahaha! This place is cleaned up! QUEEN BERYL: Now we could dance in it! MAKUTA TERIDAX: Yes! Now, Satan! Use your bagpipes! Hahahahaha! SATAN: Yes, my general! Ohoho! Satan's music lures other villains from Count Dregon to Lord Maliss into the cathedral. HORDAK: What? That music! It must be- Satan! Hahahahahaha! MUMM-RA: Who dares disturb my slumber? ULTRON: What nuisance is this? Pym? Is that your music? No- it's Satan's... VENJIX: What? That music! It's none other than my friend... In the forbidden mountain... MALEFICENT: What is it, Myzor? MYZOR: Strange music ahead! MALEFICENT: Follow me, Myzor. MON*STAR: What wakens me? DARTH VADER: Who? Follow me. GARGAMEL: Follow me, everyone. ELMO ST. PETERS: We are getting close to the cathedral, Pennywise. PENNYWISE: Yes, Elmo St. Peters, you shall soon realise it is our turn to dance! FREDDY KRUEGER: Huh? The cathedral! JASON VOORHEES: ...My... VOLDEMORT: I... always got here! GASTON: No-one gets here to the cathedral like Gaston. DR. BLOWHOLE: And nothing may stop us all. Nothing at all... DARK SURFER: What a night it is. Meanwhile, at the Inn in the New Prestwick District... KUMAMON: And from November till October, a market day you are not sober! SUPERMAN: You drank with Kirkton Jean until Monday! SPIDER-MAN: Late or soon, you would be found deep drowned in the river, Toaster! ISAAC: Here! Have some gum! Ha ha ha! OPTIMUS PRIME: There's nothing to fear. I'm telling you my stories. BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: Yeah. I think so. OPTIMUS PRIME: Pleasures are like poppies spread, or like the snow falls in the river, or like the Borealis rays, or like the rainbow's form vanishing amidst the storm. The television gave an announcement. ANNOUNCER: We interrupt this program to see the New Alloway City Cathedral, filled with criminals such as Chairface Chippendale and Baron Silas Greenback, etc. They've been followed by a... The Toaster puts the television off. OPTIMUS PRIME: My, my. Looks like you need to despise wind, rain, and fire. BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: With my horse? ZORRO: Yes, with your horse! BLANKY, LAMPY, KIRBY, RADIO, RATSO, AND TINSELINA: What? Later... When no appliance can tether time nor tide... BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: Well, goodbye! ALL HEROES: Bye Bye! So long! OPTIMUS PRIME: Good luck. As the Toaster rode on his horse, he sees scenes of gore and violence across the New Ayr District- Including- A man smothered in the Xscape Ayr Ski Slopes, a rock where a man named Charlie Brown broke his neck bone, a field where hunters found the dead Madeline McCann, and in the well where St. Mungo's mother hung herself. And deep down pours all the Toaster's floods, the lightnings flash from pole to pole, and he approaches the Cathedral, with his enemies still inside dancing. BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: Great John Barleycorn! Warlocks and witches in a dance! DR. X: Yes! What a dance! DOC TERROR: Indeed it is. DIESEL 10: Yes! CHICK HICKS: Let;s race across the cathedral! KOMPLEX: Yes! ULTRON: Hahahahahahahahaha! Yes! Hahahahaha! On the holy table are Osama Bin Laden's bones in gibbet-irons, two span-long, small, unchristened babies, a thief cut from his hanging rope with his last gasp, five tomahawks with blood rust, five scimitars with murder, a garter which a babe had strangled, a knife a father's throat had mangled (whom his own son of life bereft), grey hairs stuck to a shaft, three lawyer's tongues turned inside out, and three priests's hearts, black as muck. These are what the Toaster whitnesses! And there were stalls everywhere! GIANT MAGNET: Let's get started, villains. LORD ZEDD: We have every corpse's hand have a light, so that nothing can see what we're up to! GENGHIS REX: Oh, yes. Isn't it great? BAD RAP: Yeah. I think I support the Malevolent Team from now on. PINHEAD: Welcome to my stall. DISCORD: What a dance! I'm a DJ! Hahaha! MEGATRON: No cotillion allowed, it's French! ENTER: Sil vous plait? MEGATRON: Enough! Take him away, Chernabog! The Toaster sees Satan's lovely daughter, Cutty Sark, entering the cathedral. Until she dances. BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: My, oh, my! ALL VILLAINS: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! The dancers quickly flew, and the piper loudly blew. Until... BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: Well, that does it! Well done, Cutty Sark! The shouting blacked out the evil forces's lights. COUNT DREGON: Who put that light out? GRIMLORD: Who? OVERLORD: It's him! Toaster, surrender or pay the consequences! MASTER XANDRED: Conquer he! ALL VILLAINS: Conquer he!!!!!!!!!!! The Toaster knows that the villains are after him! BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: Those rats are following me! Hold on, Meg! Soon she'll roast me like a herrin in the Netherworld! LORD MALISS: Come here, Toasty! CHAIRFACE CHIPPENDALE: Better give up! BARON SILAS GREENBACK: You'll never run from us! KRULOS: Quickly, Xandred! To the suspension bridge! DARKHEART: Let's get him! SKELETOR: Get to the bridge! MUMM-RA: Don't let him get away! PHANTOM OF THE OPERA: Come to me... RAMESES: Get to that bridge! Quick! Cutty Sark went to the Toaster's horse before everyone else. BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: This could trick them! Meg jumps, Cutty Sark pulls off the horse's tail, and screams. CUTTY SARK: Arrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh! MEGATRON: What?! HORDAK: The Brave Little Toaster eluded us! DR. SCARAB: Let's retreat! LAWRENCE LIMBURGER: Yes, retreat! RED SKULL: Retreat! M. BISON: Of course! Retreat! As the villains form a circle, scream, and retreat, the Toaster returns to the inn... BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: It was my fault, I... OPTIMUS PRIME: You are sorry at first... BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: In memory of my Meg... Her tail was lost, I could nit save her. KUMAMON: Well, time for us to leave the inn. It's dayitme! BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER: Hey, wait for me! A tale based on Tam O'Shanter. Category:Fan Fiction